How Glitter Spoke for Me When Phrases Couldn’t

Elevate your hand when you’ve got social anxiousness? Whether or not your hand is raised or not, I’m positive you have got skilled related emotions. This was my actuality for so long as I can bear in mind. Throughout my childhood, I went weeks with out saying a single phrase to anybody as a result of I used to be frightened of judgment—sure, even from my circle of relatives and shut buddies. 

Rising Up With Social Nervousness

As you may think about, I used to be severely bullied all through elementary, center, and highschool for being the “awkward, quiet woman” who by no means spoke. It’s not that I didn’t know tips on how to speak, belief me I did, however I couldn’t do it in public. It was tough for me as a result of I had a lot to say, however was terrified to say something. I’d name myself “Hannah Montana” as a result of in individual I used to be actually quiet and shy, however once I’m alone I remodel right into a care-free, assured individual. Nonetheless, it wasn’t till I found glitter that I had the perfect of each worlds.

Discovering My Love Of Glitter

In 2017, I attended RuPaul’s DragCon the place I bought my first ever glitter gel from Elektra Cosmetics. I wasn’t a lot of a make-up gal on the time, however I figured I’d attempt it as a result of it seemed fairly, enjoyable, and everybody else was sporting it. To not point out that I spent over $200 on glitter gels—I do know, however right here me out. After I first put it on, I felt proper at house. Not one individual batted an eye fixed at me regardless of the chunks of star and coronary heart formed glitter on my face. I couldn’t imagine it. For the primary time in my life I felt free.

Not one individual batted an eye fixed at me regardless of the chunks of star and coronary heart formed glitter on my face. I couldn’t imagine it. For the primary time in my life I felt free.

What Sporting Glitter Taught Me

After that weekend ended, I took the overwhelming emotions of self-confidence and acceptance I had gained and tried to sprinkle them into different elements of my life. So as to re-create these emotions, I made a decision to put on glitter gel on a regular basis. Whereas it may be quite a bit for some individuals, it’s precisely what I have to really feel highly effective, fearless and exquisite. I’m principally referred to as the “glitter woman” all over the place I am going, as you received’t see me with out some regardless of the event. I don’t see something flawed with that, however that’s moreover the purpose. 

As quickly as I dip my finger within the glitter gel and swipe it on my cheeks, I really feel like a brand new individual. The sparkles give me this overwhelming sense of confidence that I can’t expertise from the rest. In a approach, the glitter acts as my ‘protect of armor.’ 

When individuals stare at me once I’m sporting glitter, I assume it’s due to the glitter and never something I’m doing. As somebody who has anxiousness, normally if somebody appears me within the eye, I robotically suppose they’re judging me in a unfavorable mild.

Whereas these may not appear to be massive shifts, for somebody with crippling anxiousness, any ounce of self-love and compassion actually goes a good distance.

After I stroll down a crowded New York Metropolis avenue with my glitter and two individuals flip round, stare, after which whisper, I believe to myself, “They have to love my glitter as a lot as I do.” I don’t imply for that to sound boastful in any approach, but it surely goes extra to point out how I’m not as fast to place a unfavorable judgment on myself for one thing I didn’t do. Glitter helps me to not understand each stare as a private assault of my character or intelligence, however as a substitute as a praise. 

Along with glitter altering how I understand different individuals see me, I’m additionally nicer to myself. I’m extra apt to trust in my ideas and concepts once I’m sporting glitter in comparison with once I’m not. As an alternative of regularly placing myself down with phrases equivalent to “that’s not ok” or “that’s dumb,” once I put on glitter my perspective adjustments. I catch myself saying extra constructive phrases equivalent to “that’s a extremely good concept, why not share it? or “the worst factor they will say is not any.” Whereas these may not appear to be massive shifts, for somebody with crippling anxiousness, any ounce of self-love and compassion actually goes a good distance.

Ultimate Ideas

Glitter has grow to be a staple a part of my make-up routine and I’ve had so many alternatives I wouldn’t have in any other case with out it. Whereas glitter may be my favourite method to enhance my confidence and reduce my anxiousness, there are lots of of how so that you can do the identical. As soon as you discover your area of interest, keep it up and it’ll get higher. 

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