How Glitter Spoke for Me When Phrases Couldn’t

Elevate your hand in case you have social nervousness? Whether or not your hand is raised or not, I’m certain you’ve skilled related emotions. This was my actuality for so long as I can bear in mind. Throughout my childhood, I went weeks with out saying a single phrase to anybody as a result of I used to be fearful of judgment—sure, even from my circle of relatives and shut mates.

Rising Up With Social Anxiousness

As you may think about, I used to be severely bullied all through elementary, center, and highschool for being the “awkward, quiet lady” who by no means spoke. It’s not that I didn’t know the right way to discuss, belief me I did, however I couldn’t do it in public. It was tough for me as a result of I had a lot to say, however was terrified to say something. I’d name myself “Hannah Montana” as a result of in particular person I used to be actually quiet and shy, however once I’m alone I rework right into a care-free, assured particular person. Nonetheless, it wasn’t till I found glitter that I had the very best of each worlds.

Discovering My Love Of Glitter

In 2017, I attended RuPaul’s DragCon the place I bought my first ever glitter gel from Elektra Cosmetics. I wasn’t a lot of a make-up gal on the time, however I figured I’d attempt it as a result of it regarded fairly, enjoyable, and everybody else was carrying it. To not point out that I spent over $200 on glitter gels—I do know, however right here me out. Once I first put it on, I felt proper at dwelling. Not one particular person batted an eye fixed at me regardless of the chunks of star and coronary heart formed glitter on my face. I couldn’t consider it. For the primary time in my life I felt free.

Not one particular person batted an eye fixed at me regardless of the chunks of star and coronary heart formed glitter on my face. I couldn’t consider it. For the primary time in my life I felt free.

What Sporting Glitter Taught Me

After that weekend ended, I took the overwhelming emotions of self-confidence and acceptance I had gained and tried to sprinkle them into different facets of my life. To be able to re-create these emotions, I made a decision to put on glitter gel on a regular basis. Whereas it may be quite a bit for some folks, it’s precisely what I must really feel highly effective, fearless and delightful. I’m mainly referred to as the “glitter lady” in all places I am going, as you gained’t see me with out some irrespective of the event. I don’t see something improper with that, however that’s apart from the purpose.

As quickly as I dip my finger within the glitter gel and swipe it on my cheeks, I really feel like a brand new particular person. The sparkles give me this overwhelming sense of confidence that I can’t expertise from the rest. In a method, the glitter acts as my ‘defend of armor.’

When folks stare at me once I’m carrying glitter, I assume it’s due to the glitter and never something I’m doing. As somebody who has nervousness, normally if somebody seems me within the eye, I robotically assume they’re judging me in a unfavourable gentle.

Whereas these won’t seem to be huge shifts, for somebody with crippling nervousness, any ounce of self-love and compassion actually goes a good distance.

Once I stroll down a crowded New York Metropolis road with my glitter and two folks flip round, stare, after which whisper, I feel to myself, “They have to love my glitter as a lot as I do.” I don’t imply for that to sound conceited in any method, but it surely goes extra to indicate how I’m not as fast to place a unfavourable judgment on myself for one thing I didn’t do. Glitter helps me to not understand each stare as a private assault of my character or intelligence, however as a substitute as a praise.

Along with glitter altering how I understand different folks see me, I’m additionally nicer to myself. I’m extra apt to believe in my ideas and concepts once I’m carrying glitter in comparison with once I’m not. As a substitute of continually placing myself down with phrases reminiscent of “that’s not ok” or “that’s dumb,” once I put on glitter my perspective modifications. I catch myself saying extra constructive phrases reminiscent of “that’s a very good thought, why not share it? or “the worst factor they’ll say is not any.” Whereas these won’t seem to be huge shifts, for somebody with crippling nervousness, any ounce of self-love and compassion actually goes a good distance.

Ultimate Ideas

Glitter has develop into a staple a part of my make-up routine and I’ve had so many alternatives I wouldn’t have in any other case with out it. Whereas glitter may be my favourite approach to enhance my confidence and reduce my nervousness, there are a whole bunch of how so that you can do the identical. As soon as you discover your area of interest, keep it up and it’ll get higher.